Sunday, December 14, 2008

Photo Inspiration

I just read about this on Ashley's blog and wondered which photo would come up if I tried it. The idea is to go into "My Photos" then to the fourth folder (of if you're not organized, just the fourth photo) and then to the fourth photo in the folder and post it without cropping or editing, then explain it.

I was delighted to find that the fourth folder in My Photos is titled "Evie" :) Yippee! And because I'm very organized, there are no "loose" photos in that folder, only more folders. So I went to the fourth folder in my "Evie" folder and it is her "Month Two" folder. What's in that folder? More folders, of course. (I'm blushing...) The fourth folder in there is titled "October 27." Before you think I'm insane, let me please point out that this was our "Forever Family Day." There are only two photos in the folder, so I'll just post the second one:

Here's a link to my original post about this day. It was, in a word, anticlimactic. It was sweet to hold Evie in my arms as I testified under oath that I would take on the role of mother to her from now until her 18th birthday (and beyond, of course, but the court doesn't really care about adults needing mothers, too) and accept the rights and responsibilities as if I had given birth to her. But the sterile courtroom, judge we'd never met before and our pricey lawyer put a strange spin on the day and left us feeling as though we'd just renewed our drivers licenses, moreso than that we'd just gone from a family of two to a family of three.

It reminds me of a funny story about my late grandparents, my dad's parents. They married right before my grandpa went to England with the Army Air Corps during WWII. They had to move up the date of the wedding to accommodate a last-minute change in his deployment date, and in the shuffle my grandpa somehow forgot that he needed a marriage license. So they were married by a minister, in a church, with friends and family all in attendance, had a reception and their wedding night...but weren't legally married until, as my dad says, my grandpa "was first in line at the courthouse on Monday morning."

Here's a picture of me with these grandparents, right before my high school graduation ceremony.

Silly story about my grandma, she traumatized me as an 8th grader by mentioning offhand one time (context: conversation was about how my brother and I both look(ed) like my father) that she looks just like her father, too "but he didn't have boobs." I almost died. The very idea of my grandma uttering that word. Horror.

Another story about my grandparents: my dad was their first son after having three daughters (and they finished up the family with one more daughter and one more son for a total of six kids) and they fought over what to name him. They couldn't agree and so ended up bringing him home from the hospital with "Baby Boy __(last name)____" as his official birth certificate name. They didn't remember to have it changed to his real name until he was going into Little League, and needed his birth certificate to sign up. Obviously they had ongoing issues with paperwork!

Anyhow, back from my tangents, I think that as my grandpa went to the courthouse, obtained a marriage license and had the minister sign it, he and my grandma probably felt much the same way that J and I felt having a judge finalize our adoption of Evie. The type of love created through marriage and adoption happens in intimate moments with family, not through legal ceremonies and paperwork. Here is a more accurate representation of our family being finalized. This is the first picture we have of her in our house, minutes after bringing her home from the hotel.

In this photo, my love for her is already forever, judge or no judge.

My grandpa will be forever tied in my heart and in my mind to our adoption, and to Evie. He died on the morning of March 26, 2008, the day of our match meeting with Lucy's parents. The coincidence of it made J and I both think of the song "The Circle of Life." Thankfully, we had been able to see him over President's Day weekend and he was able to meet his newest great-grandchild, my nephew. And, October 27th, our Forever Family Day, was also my grandpa's birthday. He would have turned 91 years old. We regret that Evie will never meet five of her eight great-grandparents. Of the three who are living, she hasn't met any of them yet, but she'll meet my mom's mother at Christmas, so expect some pictures of her with me, my mom and my grandma. It's a great photo op to have four generations of women in one place.

Instead of tagging four people, as I am meant to do, I'll just follow Ashley's lead and say that if anyone else wants to do this photo exercise, consider yourself tagged. And when you're explaining your photo, don't feel obliged to go off on a tangent about your grandparents. :)


  1. I'm sorry about the loss of your grandpa. I'm sure he would be very proud of you and Evie. I loved your grandparent stories...cute stuff. You brought up such an interesting point about how and when families are made. The pictures support your point....there's quite a difference between the courthouse picture and the sweet picture of you and Evie.

  2. I had a similar Circle of Life experience, too. Kind of strange when endings and beginnings are so closely tied.

    Love the pix!

  3. Such a sweet story. I laughed that your dad's name wasn't changed until little league. Sounds like something I would have done.


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