Monday, September 1, 2008

Scared and Over-prepared

R is 37 weeks today, meaning she is full-term. Now begins the period of keeping my cell phone turned on and at my side 24/7.

I've been keeping busy doing things that "I should have done" (perfectionism speaking) before Lucy arrived.

Over-prepared:
  • Just now I finished thoroughly washing both windows in the nursery, inside and out, vacuuming the screens of dust and wiping down the sills and casings. This is only the second time I've done this in the 6 years we've lived in this house. Note to self: repeat when Clio turns three. (Realistically, Lucy would have survived just fine with dirty windows.)

  • A couple of days ago, I took the advice of Baby Bargains (pp. 124-133) and made extra bumper pad ties because our bedding set came with bumper pad ties only on the top of the bumper and not on the bottom, which is not as safe. This was something I meant to do before Lucy but never got around to. (For those who might be interested: I cut five 2.5" by 20" rectangles of unbleached muslin, sewed them into tubes and then turned the tubes inside out (not as easy as it sounds), hemmed the raw ends, folded them in half and hand-sewed them to the bottom of the bumper at the same seams where the bumper already sported top ties. The ties end up 1" wide by 9" long, which is exactly the same as the ties that were already on the top of the bumper.)
  • I'm also reading parenting books, particularly books recommended by Linda: The Attachment Parenting Book, which I really should have read prior to Lucy since I intend to use AP! Reading this has made me realize that I didn't really understand AP the way I thought I did. I'm also reading Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. I know several people who use L&L discipline with their kids and those kids are the best behaved children I know, in a good way. A L&L class is starting at our church the weekend after Clio's due date, and one of the leaders (our pastor's wife) told us to sign up because Clio will "sleep right through it." J's response was "Yeah, so will we." Heh heh. So, I'm going to read this book instead and take the class at another time. Finally, Jen loaned me The Vaccine Book, which I read in one night, flying home from my trip. I now feel much more empowered to discuss this topic with doctors eventually and I think we'll be following the alternative schedule (pp. 236-237) but including the Hep B shots as a newborn.

  • I also recently made a no-sew tutu as a "prop" for a newborn portrait session with my friend Becca. I'm imagining Clio naked with just this tutu and a bow in her hair, sleeping on a fluffy blanket. We'll see if that dream comes true! Here's a pic of the finished tutu:

Scared:

  • I've been reading Ask Moxie quite a bit (note: if you read her, make sure to read the comments because they are just as good as the posts) and on the one hand, feel better prepared for what parenting will really be like, and on the other hand I am scared to death. I'm particularly frightened by some of the recent posts/comments that have addressed how a new baby changes a marriage. J and I have been married so long that our home life is very comfy, we communicate well and don't argue much. One recent commenter asserted that (I'm paraphrasing here): "every new mom considers divorcing her husband at least once during the first year." Wow, what am I in for?
  • I just finished reading Mother Shock (another recommendation by Linda) and found that much of it reiterated what I've read on Ask Moxie. It was very entertaining (particularly hilarious were the essays "Loving Every (Other) Minute of It," "Mother Tongue" and "Learning to Speak), but also eye-opening ("Sleeping Like a Baby" being the scariest). Buchanan echoes some of the sentiments about marriage I referred to above: "We talk in hushed voices about...hating our spouses in the middle of the night..." (110).

OK, so I'm going to dive into Babyproofing Your Marriage and try to read quickly, before Clio arrives!

5 comments:

  1. Hey I want that L&L book...like I'll have time to read it! We do Sears' delayed schedule too. It works great for us :)

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  2. CONGRATS on your exciting full-term status! *hugs!*

    I love the tutu! What a great idea for an announcement pic!

    I've got the 2001 Sears Attachment Parenting book on interlibrary loan request. It's good to hear you liked it, and now I"m especially curious about your comments on it. I wanted to read the 2001 version because the first AP book I read just didn't quite sit right with me. (It was: "Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child" by Katie Allison Granju, Betsy Kennedy, and William Sears (Paperback - Aug 1, 1999) I'm hoping this 2001 version by just the Sears will be better written, for one, and help me find a good middle ground that will work for us.

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  3. Arghhhh!! You *young* gals make me feel soooooooooooooooo old fashioned. Back in the 60's, when my adopted children came into the world, Dr. Spock was *it* as far as parenting manuals. I feel like I need to go back and read the new books to see if I did ANYTHING right! I guess the *horse is out of the barn* now, though, since they are both grown men with children of their own.

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  4. Okay, cracking up at your synopsis of window washing. I, too, just washed mine (the first time in five years of living here). I try to wash the ones that we see the most (living room, kitchen, front door) a few times a year, but the others always have closed blinds....Hubby actually washed the wood blinds down...he asked if we could do it a little more often, from now on--it took him FOREVER to get the 3 inches of grime off! I figure I'm good for at least another year! :)

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  5. So women think about divorcing their husbands "once" after the baby arrives? Just once??!! lol

    Don't feel bad if you have those feelings more frequently. Just communicate well, and everything will work out. It's a huge adjustment but you'll do fine!

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