Friday, September 19, 2008

Evie's Birth Story

I have time to write this because I am currently sitting completely alone in our hospital room while Evie visits with R and a friend of R's who came by to see the baby. More on that later. (I know, I know, I should be napping, not blogging.) J had to leave for the afternoon to take care of some important things like getting our air conditioner fixed (it broke last weekend), receiving a shipment of wine from UPS at our house this afternoon and picking up a shipment of grapes from California that he uses to make his own delicious wines. Yes, I'm a very lucky woman.

So, the story. Yesterday at about 9:30 pm, we got a call from our SW that R had gone into labor and her water had broken. We managed to rush around and get ready to leave the house (me for several days in a row) in about 7 minutes. As we drove to the hospital, I called J's parents, my parents and friends and family who we knew would still be awake at 9:40 CDT.

We were afraid that R would have a fast labor and we'd miss things, but when we finally found our way through the hospital parking lot, maze of hallways and airtight maternity ward security, we found that R was only dilated 5-6 cm. and had just received an epidural. Thankfully, the hospital had an extra room for us to use and we started making ourselves at home. Shortly thereafter, G visited us in our room to update us on R's progress (still 5-6). After he left, I caught up on Bloglines reading material while J watched Music and Lyrics on the super cool hotel-style entertainment system with flat screen TV. Nice hospital! He finally crashed around 1 AM and I followed at about 2:30 AM (who can sleep with a baby on the way?). Right after I turned out the lights, the "baby" nurse came in to ask us questions about Evie's care, and I finally fell asleep at about 3:30. We woke at 5 AM to G running down the hall and knocking on our door to announce "she's here!" and then running back to R's room. We later learned that after R awoke from her post-epidural nap, she was still 6 cm, but then half an hour later had the urge to push and did, even though the nurses hadn't checked her to make sure she was complete. Evie was born quickly and both R and Evie came through without any major complications.

R's original birth plan stated that she didn't want to see or hold Evie, but in the end she did hold her for 5 minutes, G held her for a few minutes, the nurses did "their thing" and we finally got to see her at about 5:35. G rolled her down the hall in her bassinet, the nurse followed to affix my official wristband, and he presented her to us with tears in his eyes. It was a beautiful moment and I nearly burst into tears myself. He said "Congratulations, Mom and Dad," gave us hugs and left. We had fun ogling her little features for a bit, then were about to start making phone calls when Evie's nurse came in and asked to take her for her first bath. She invited us to come along, we did, then the nurse was called suddenly to attend another delivery, so we ended up sitting in the newborn nursery, rocking Evie and bonding with her, for about 40 minutes while we waited for our nurse to get back. After she did, Evie got her bath, we returned to our room and finally started making calls to people at about 7 AM. During this entire time Evie was intermittently fussy and kept giving these adorable newborn cries that sounded like baby goat bleats, but we did enjoy some quiet alert time with her and did our best to start the bonding process.

The rest of the day has been a blur (perhaps due to my 1.5 hours of sleep?!) of phone calls, visitors, nurses, poopy diapers, feedings, calming Evie when she fusses and enduring these minutes of separation. The first one was this morning when G's mother and aunt came to see Evie and the nurses took her from us to see them in R's room. I completely understand G's mother's need to see her, but the experience felt like deja vu and made me uncomfortable. This was repeated from 1-2 PM when R requested that Evie be brought to her room for an unknown reason. I'm not going to let myself speculate about this one because it will drive me nuts. Then, just as I started typing this, R sent a nurse to bring Evie back to her because a friend of hers had arrive to see her. As I finished this post, R and G came to bring her back to me (30 minutes, approx.). They are being very friendly and if this were our first adoption I wouldn't think anything of it (OK, not really, but I wouldn't think as much). But because of our experience with M & T, I'm having a hard time being the gracious adoptive mother I should be. Intellectually I understand that R & G are giving up this perfect little bundle to us and the least I should do is give them a few minutes here and there during her first day of life to admire their handiwork. Emotionally, it is a different story.

It would be so much easier to deal with this if they had already signed relinquishment papers, but that won't happen until 9:30 AM tomorrow. That is our first hurdle, followed by a meeting with our attorney on Sunday (that will be terrifying, after what happened last time we left a baby in a hospital nursery) and official court custody on Monday morning. Monday late morning/afternoon we'll pack up our little family and head to a hotel until we get ICPC clearance to head home.

Everyone (nurses, SWs, R & G) keeps telling us that we shouldn't worry, that we aren't going to lose Evie like we lost Lucy. I appreciate the encouragement, but I'm going to keep praying and we appreciate the prayers and good thoughts from all of you. Keep it up until Monday, please!

By the way, a nurse told me just a bit ago that we can dress Evie in anything we like (unlike the policy at the hospital where Lucy was born), so I'll try to post a cute outfit pic later.


  1. Tons and tons of prayers are coming your way. I seriously want it to be Monday for you already.

  2. Jake and I both are thinking of you and J., and hoping with all our hearts that Monday brings a celebration worthy of giant vats of J's famous homebrew.


  3. We are praying that this is an uneventful adoption and that you get to leave the hospital with Evie Monday afternoon!

  4. Praying and wishing and hoping fo the best for you guys.

    I started reading your blog just after you lost Lucy and I felt so bad for your loss. But I loved your name for her. Please don't take offence but I decided to name my puppy Lucy after that. I'd been looking for the perfect "old fashioned and girly" name for her and Lucy just jumped out at me. Now she jumps up at me ;)

    I look forward to hearing your good news in the next few days to come.

  5. Oh Karen, I keep thinking of you on and off all day! It runs through my head that this day and the next will be the best AND worst days of your life until you can finally relax!!! I'm so glad she's healthy and doing well. She's beautiful. I am praying.

  6. I am including you all in my prayers this weekend. I found your blog through MilkShare and have found myself really hoping and praying for you for weeks now. It is such a thrill to see this come to pass for you.
    Evie is a lucky little girl to be getting such devoted parents.
    God bless you all.

  7. Just checking in again.
    I have had you on my mind constantly! My husband knows your story now too and we are both in prayer for you. Wishing the time would pass quickly for you.

  8. I too started following your blog right after you lsot Lucy. You both have been through so much, I can't imagine how fearful you must be now. Trust in the Lord, know He has a plan and know that you are all in my prayers today.

    PS, she is perfectly beautiful.

  9. Wow...prayers are definitely forthcoming and I am wishing for all the best. I know you must be so very anxious--I think only about 1/2 of what you really feel is coming through these words. Hang in there, and know you are not alone!!


  10. Been thinking about you lots this weekend. I hope it goes fast and Monday goes by without a hitch! Until then, you look like you are enjoying her. :)


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