Saturday, October 17, 2009

Two Under Two

Completely out of the blue, we are expecting to adopt again! Baby #2 (sex as yet unknown) is due in late April and we are SO EXCITED. And cautious, because there are 2 whole trimesters between now and then. Trimesters full of flutterings and kicks and bonding between mom and baby. So we are cautiously optimistic, moving forward with plans but still trying to hold back our emotions a little. We did the same with Evie and had no trouble bonding with her in the hospital, so I'm sure it will be the same this time.

We are thrilled, but writing this post makes me feel guilty because some of you reading this are still waiting to adopt your first, and J and I are being blessed by a second adoption. I can justify this logically. This is happening to us because x + y = z --- x is our adoption of Evie, y is our relationship with the expectant mom of the second baby and z is parenting 2 kids under age 2. But I can't justify this emotionally and spiritually. When there are so many women out there longing for their first baby, and here I am perfectly content with Evie. Why do I get to be doubly happy? Why did God put us through the desert of infertility for years and then pour out a second helping of grace when we weren't out searching for it? I have no answers to these questions. I'm here feeling overwhelmingly blessed, and guilty.

Just as with Evie's adoption, most of the details are going to stay private, but I will say that we haven't been running around doing a homestudy and profile and jumping into a pool of waiting families without writing about it here. We had talked in the past about adopting again quickly, but our most recent plan was to wait until Evie was 3. But the expectant mom (we'll call her A here) chose us independently because she has known us for years, knows about our infertility and adoption of Evie, and is relieved that she can make an adoption plan with people who are familiar to her, people she trusts to keep in contact with her, people she knows will love and cherish her baby. We are honored that she thinks us capable of parenting 2 under 2, and we have faith that if God orchestrates this adoption, He will also give us the wisdom to do it well!

Anybody else watching "Glee" on Wednesdays? Of course you are. So, I'm thinking that "Drizzle" would be a great nickname for the baby until we know the sex and can assign an appropriate Greek nickname for the blog. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to start watching the show. I would butcher the joke by explaining it here.

More details:
  • we'll be traveling to sunny Florida for the birth and adoption
  • we'll do our homestudy update in January
  • the expectant father and his family are supportive of the adoption--YAY!
Time to start asking myself some important questions:

1. Buy a second crib for Drizzle or try to put Evie in a toddler bed? (Her crib is not convertible.)

2. Buy a double stroller even though Evie pretty much hates strollers and only tolerates them if they are moving forward quickly at all times or have really interesting people walking by them in a steady stream?

3. Leave Evie in her room with the mural she loves, or move her and put Drizzle in the nursery to enjoy the mural?

I'm glad I have 6 months to figure these things out.


  1. Yay, yay, yay! I'm so excited for you. And of COURSE we watch Glee! Love it. Drizzle is perfect and I anxiousy await your updates!

  2. Such exciting news. I hope everything works out well.

  3. KAREN!! WHAT?? I absolutely was not expecting to read such news from you. First of all I'll pray for strength for you to parent 2 under 2. Just kidding. Seriously, though. How fabulous. We're already dreaming of our second adoption but have to wait until little Decs is 2 before we're allowed to enter the waiting pool. Hope your next 6 months fly. Oh, and I hope you have a boy. They're delicious.

  4. I am so happy for you! I'm sorry the moment is bittersweet, but I pray you will be able to focus on the positive.
    My two cents...Drizzle gets his or her OWN mural. Evie loves her's and deserves to keep it. :) (Not only that, but with adding a new little one to the home, Evie will likely need whatever consistency she can manage, including keeping her own room.)
    And I wouldn't move her to a toddler bed yet, but maybe the new crib could be a convertible that Evie could use and then convert it when she's ready?
    I'll be keeping you guys in my prayers!

  5. WOW!!!! This is exciting. Wes and I are in the beginning stages of adoption #2 and are a bit envious that you can "skip" some of those steps this time around. I hope all goes well with the adoption plan and that Drizzle's arrival in April is wonderful and seemless for your family. God is so good!


  6. Congratulations to you! I've been reading your blog since pre-Evie and have found so many of your insights so helpful -- especially the posts on cloth diapering! I just wanted to let you know how helpful a hand you've invisibly lent to our own family, which welcomed our first child to the world last Sunday. I know you'll do a great job with the 2x2.

    -- Jeni

  7. Ecstatic for you! And, firmly (absolutely firmly) believing that guilt has no place in your happiness.

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! HUGS!

  8. Awesome!

    And I can totally relate to the guilt. Totally.

    My input to your decisions - a second crib, a sit and stand stroller, and Evie keeps her room.




  10. Wow!!! That is some news. :) Absolutely thrilled for you and Mr. Evie is going to be one proud sis. Can't wait for updates.

  11. Karen, I'm so excited for you!! Evie's going to be a big! Maybe I'll understand the guilt after we have #1 (because we want a #2 also), but I believe things work out the way they're supposed to...congrats on the match and looking forward to following your journey to baby #2.

  12. I'm sure you can handle it! I don't think any of us begrudge anyone happiness - we can be envious yet joyful! I'm very excited for Drizzle to become part of your family even though our Drizzle is still out there somewhere!

  13. That's so exciting! I am so happy for you! I'm sure Evie will enjoy being a sister... at some point! :) I was an only child, and I am firmly against that state. I think I missed a lot of things being a "lonely only."

    Also exciting that you're coming to FL! That's where I am. In March it won't even be TOO hot. But it should be nice and warm for your visit!

    Oh, and Drizzle? The name is inspired. Perfect.

    Praying for a smooth process for everyone involved!

  14. WOW...big news, Congratulations!! This is super exciting, and I can't wait to hear more when you guys know more! How beautiful and wonderful to have been chosen by someone who already knows you. To me that's a real tribute to what an awesome mommy you are!!

    As for your questions, I would say move Evie to a big girl bed if at all possible. Of course, they say babies regress a bit when a new sibling comes along so it might be hard for her to move to a big bed AND share you with a new baby. If you do move her, I'd say do it enough in advance of Drizzle that she'll have time to adjust. Is there any possibility they can share a room?

    Congratulations again!!


  15. Wow, Karen! I am so excited for all of you! What a wonderful way for this to happen for you guys. I understand that feeling of guilt, but God has a plan.

    Did you guys have Evie in your room for awhile? If so and you can stretch out the time between new baby, new bed, new room, I would do that. If not, I would say compare the prices between a convertible crib and a toddler bed.

    I am so happy for you guys!!

  16. No way!!! That is awesome!!! Congratulations!!! I cant wait to follow this new journey!

  17. Congratulations on your potential adoption. That is amazing and scary and fantastic! I hope all goes well over the coming months.

  18. AAAAHHHHHHHHH! Yay! This is such fantastic news!!!!

  19. wow! oh WOW!!!! Don't feel guilty, she is in your life for a reason and chose you both for a reason! What an amazing journey you guys are embarking on... AGAIN! I'm so excited for you! We live in Florida, too. :)

    I would get a second crib and make a second nursery. Taking Evie out of her room (and comfort zone) might make for a harder transition. That's what I would do!

  20. Here from LFCA and just wanted to say congrats! I know the feeling of guilt and so I understand what you are saying but please don't feel guilty, Evie will have a sibling and you are clearly good parents who are entrusted once again. Your joy does not diminish another's struggle.

  21. Don't feel guilty. In this community we have to weep with those that weep and rejoice with those that rejoice. I'm so excited for you!!! WOW. We simply don't have the money to adopt again. I secretly pray that God will move and bring another mom to us one day, without the expense of agencies. What a blessing for you!

  22. Congratulations - I'm delighted for you. I think I can exactly understand feeling blessed and guilty (if I ever get pregnant, that's where I'll be). I'm a total adoption ignorant in terms of having actually done it, but frankly I think this is just the way it should be done - less of the nasty bureaucracy and more someone in a difficult situation choosing people she KNOWS will be the right people to care for her child. God bless you both and I hope you keep your sanity as you wait.

    P.S. I thought you might appreciate this - my word verification was "Kinden," not quite the right German ending for "children," but definitely a plural.

  23. Congratulations. This is wonderful news! Wow!!!

  24. Whoah, I somehow totally missed this post - what a surprising and exciting piece of news! Congratulations! And thanks for the tone of your post - it's nice to be acknowledged that way. :)

  25. Congrats!! You are an intrepid parent to think about #2 next year already! I'm too scared.

    About your questions I think that you will get those answers as you get closer to April. I think Evie will grow and change so rapidly between now and then you probably will be surprised by what happens!


I love comments! If you ask a question, I'll probably reply in the comment thread, and I try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments.

My Shelfari Bookshelf

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog