Drizzle has a brand new name

Drizzle is definitely a boy (!) who is now blog-dubbed Zeph, short for Zephyrus, Greek god of the west wind.

A had another ultrasound today, obviously, and everything looks great with her and the baby. Not so much with C, Zeph's dad. We really have no idea how this is going to play out in the end. The short version is that A would like to make an adoption plan for Zeph and C would like to be a dad. It is clearly a very stressful and confusing time for them, and J and I are trying to stand out of the way and just be there to support whichever decision they end up making. This one might come down to the wire, so please nobody hold your breath.

Honestly, I feel very peaceful about this situation. I could let myself stress out with the uncertainty of it all, but I have absolute confidence that things will be OK in the end. Whatever happens, Zeph will be loved and we will be happy. We feel that God's hands are in this situation and His will will be done.

However, this is going to be hard on me as the months go by and Zeph's due date approaches because "Planner" is my middle name. I don't need a late-term pregnancy to nest; nesting is in my DNA. So I've already started collecting tiny polo shirts and a blue velour cover for our B*oppy pillow, and a few other items, even before we got the final news that Zeph is a boy. My brain tells me that because of the uncertainty, I really shouldn't go hunting for boyish crib bedding, prepare a second nursery and get the P*ack 'N' P*lay down from the attic. But the type A part of me is truly itching to start accumulating blue scrapbooking doo-dads and these socks. Which side of me will win this tug of war? I'm betting on the second contender.

Finally, I promised in my last post about this topic that I would write about the prospect of having a son. I feel:
*blessed by the chance to experience parenting both sexes
*challenged at the idea of raising a MAN with a gentle spirit and strength of character
*happy for Evie to have a playmate, especially because she seems to be tomboyish so far
*intimidated by the possibility that karma is real and that I'm going to get comeuppance for the stress my little brother and I inflicted on our mom by fighting constantly for 16 years (we're friends now, though!)
*scared that I won't understand him, since I have trouble understanding the minds of most men :)
*disappointed that I won't get to re-use the pink tutu I made (just kidding)
*exasperated that all little boy clothes seem to have footballs, dinosaurs or bugs on them
*excited to discover Zeph's personality, talents and abilities
*confused by the debate over whether or not to circumcise
*prepared, somewhat, by having so many friends and family members with little boys--they will show me the ropes and their sons will be Zeph's pals
*already worried about autism, like every other mother of a baby boy, as if SIDS worries weren't enough
*hopeful that Zeph will be our son