Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Drizzle has a brand new name

Drizzle is definitely a boy (!) who is now blog-dubbed Zeph, short for Zephyrus, Greek god of the west wind.

A had another ultrasound today, obviously, and everything looks great with her and the baby. Not so much with C, Zeph's dad. We really have no idea how this is going to play out in the end. The short version is that A would like to make an adoption plan for Zeph and C would like to be a dad. It is clearly a very stressful and confusing time for them, and J and I are trying to stand out of the way and just be there to support whichever decision they end up making. This one might come down to the wire, so please nobody hold your breath.

Honestly, I feel very peaceful about this situation. I could let myself stress out with the uncertainty of it all, but I have absolute confidence that things will be OK in the end. Whatever happens, Zeph will be loved and we will be happy. We feel that God's hands are in this situation and His will will be done.

However, this is going to be hard on me as the months go by and Zeph's due date approaches because "Planner" is my middle name. I don't need a late-term pregnancy to nest; nesting is in my DNA. So I've already started collecting tiny polo shirts and a blue velour cover for our B*oppy pillow, and a few other items, even before we got the final news that Zeph is a boy. My brain tells me that because of the uncertainty, I really shouldn't go hunting for boyish crib bedding, prepare a second nursery and get the P*ack 'N' P*lay down from the attic. But the type A part of me is truly itching to start accumulating blue scrapbooking doo-dads and these socks. Which side of me will win this tug of war? I'm betting on the second contender.

Finally, I promised in my last post about this topic that I would write about the prospect of having a son. I feel:
*blessed by the chance to experience parenting both sexes
*challenged at the idea of raising a MAN with a gentle spirit and strength of character
*happy for Evie to have a playmate, especially because she seems to be tomboyish so far
*intimidated by the possibility that karma is real and that I'm going to get comeuppance for the stress my little brother and I inflicted on our mom by fighting constantly for 16 years (we're friends now, though!)
*scared that I won't understand him, since I have trouble understanding the minds of most men :)
*disappointed that I won't get to re-use the pink tutu I made (just kidding)
*exasperated that all little boy clothes seem to have footballs, dinosaurs or bugs on them
*excited to discover Zeph's personality, talents and abilities
*confused by the debate over whether or not to circumcise
*prepared, somewhat, by having so many friends and family members with little boys--they will show me the ropes and their sons will be Zeph's pals
*already worried about autism, like every other mother of a baby boy, as if SIDS worries weren't enough
*hopeful that Zeph will be our son


  1. awww ... love little zeph!

    i'll keep praying for peace all the way around with him - you really sound great, going with the flow.

  2. Do you think you're more at peace with Zeph's situation because of what you've been through with Lucy and now having Evie because of that fall through?

    I do hope the little Zephster comes home to you!

    Are you iced/blizzarded in? Cuz we sure are! Snow snow everywhere!

  3. Yayy for Zeph. Nice name. I love the way you write about stuff.

  4. +Mrs. H: I do think that we are a bit more relaxed because of what we've already been through, but I think the bigger reason we're chill is because we have a cuddly toddler in our lives 24/7 and so that part of us that was desperate to be parents in the first place isn't raging anymore. Plus the fact that this adoption fell into our laps, so we've never really felt in control of it, whereas we had the illusion of control with Lucy and Evie. And yep, we have snow, but only 2 or 3 inches. I took Evie out in it earlier and I'll put up pics in a few days!

  5. Awesome name! I keep telling J that I would love to name a boy Zephyr but he thinks it's a girls name. Men! You'll never understand them. But as boys they are so so sweet. I'll be hoping along with you!

  6. I read this today at work, but couldn't reply then...such exciting news about Zeph!! I'm hopeful for you.

  7. Can't wait to see you in person and catch up!!!

  8. I'm glad to hear you're able to approach this peacefully. I try, when I realize that they cannot be repressed, to funnel my neuroses into useful avenues so they don't take over entirely - i.e., if I deseperately want to buy blue socks, maybe I get to paint a pink room green, instead. Work within the madness, I always say - because everyone I love is crazy. Anyway, it's a joyous occasion to plan for, and being invested could pay off, right?

  9. Yay-Yay-Yay for Zeph! (in a multitude of ways!)

    I feel your fashion pain. What IS up with those stupid footballs?????


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