first time being changed in a McDonald's bathroom
first time meeting J's family
Here is Evie smiling at her grandpa in a new bib, made my one of J's mother's friends:
And here is a close-up of her Thanksgiving outfit; the onesie is a gift from her Uncle Matt and Aunt Christine. It isn't her only organic cotton onesie, but it is the only onesie she has that was handmade in Austin, Texas. Evie says: "I love you Aunt Christine and Uncle Matt! I'm so sad you weren't here today!"
Official doctor's visit report:
So, in our letter we overcame our lack of a "picture perfect" curb shot by describing our home and neighborhood: excellent schools, mature trees, quiet street (not a thoroughfare), large park nearby, mural in the nursery, hard wood floors in the house, large screened porch and deck...In conclusion, a few offers of help:
ETA on 12-2-08: here's a recent post that builds on this one.
Tomorrow: Evie's 2 month post, with cute pictures!
Friday: more adoption info--I will try to tackle creating a profile. J has Friday off, so maybe I'll even get it done before midnight. Nablopomo is starting to feel like college: staying up late, writing frantically, to meet a deadline!
I would never presume to recommend open adoption to everyone, because every adoption is different, but I am very glad I was open to open adoption.
Readers, this topic is so big that I'm sure I've left important things out, despite my verbosity. Feel free to comment and add your own thoughts about this important adoption topic!
Tomorrow I'll continue my adoption post series with a post about open adoption, at Jessica's suggestion.
From my limited experience with adoption, I am happy with our agency and we plan to use our SW again when we adopt for a second time. However, there are things we do not prefer about our agency:
These are the factors that we have found important in our agency and are factors that other adoptive families may consider as they select an agency to assist and represent them through the adoption process.
Readers, what factors have I missed that are also important in choosing an agency? Feel free to leave a comment and add to my list.
There are thousands of adoption agencies and facilitators in the U.S. and searching for the right one can feel overwhelming. Many couples feel so confused about this choice that they simply choose a large agency whose name they have heard before (much as some people visit a new city and decide to eat at Applebee's because they just aren't sure about the local restaurants). These large agencies have their place and I'm sure there are wonderful people working there who deeply desire the best result for all members of the adoption triad. However, they just weren't for J and I. If you've worked with a large national agency or another type of agency that is different from the agency J and I worked with, please comment and give us some of the pros and cons of the agency you used. Thanks!
If you want to find an agency similar to the one J and I used, I would suggest calling up local adoption attorneys, hospitals, churches and pregnancy support centers. These are all sources of referrals to small, local agencies. Another strategy would be to find a local adoption support group (for adoptive couples) and use the inevitable mingling period before and after the meeting to inquire about the agencies that other families have used and get the scoop about the pros and cons of each.
Here is another perspective on this topic, from Lori. (added 11-18-08)
Cons of Domestic Adoption:
Pros of International Adoption:
Cons of International Adoption:
OK, readers, what points am I missing here? I know there are several but it's 11:55 and I must post now! :) ETA: I've gone back and added some points that I missed, but feel free to leave comments with additional factors that I've inadvertently left out.
To readers who have adopted: what books did you read that were particularly helpful in preparing you for what adoption was like and what raising adopted kids is like?
To H.S. and others: any other topics you'd like me to cover? Leave a comment and I'll try to address it. I was going to start out tonight with the first topic and write about good books about adoption, but here it is 11:42 PM and I need to post this to make my nablopomo deadline! So, until tomorrow.
Here's a pic of my dad with Evie; my mom just uploaded it to Snapfish yesterday and it's better than the pic I posted before:
Our little fish-face:
Such a cutie pie:
Here's a pic of Evie as she is being baptized:

We knew that G would be there, and he had said he would be bringing members of his family (we knew his mom would be there), but we weren't sure about R. When we got to the church, I took Evie back to the nursery to change her out of her romper outfit (her christening gown wouldn't work with the car seat!) and into her gown. As J's mom and I walked back down the hallway toward the sanctuary, we saw G and R and G's family coming in the door at the other end. We were all smiles and after saying hello I immediately offered Evie to R and she beamed with joy as she took Evie in her arms and snuggled with her. Evie was drifting in and out of consciousness the whole morning, and I don't remember whether or not she was awake at that point, but she was a little angel in both behavior and appearance. As R held Evie, I introduced our parents and friends to R and G and his family and we talked about Evie and all of her skills and developments. The time flew by and we had to get into the sanctuary for the start of the service. J and I sat front and center because of our role, and I held Evie through the hour. R and G and G's family sat nearby but behind my field of vision, so I didn't see them a lot during the service. My family tells me that they seemed to enjoy the service. Evie slept through most of it, including the parts where J and I promised to raise her as a Christ-follower. She woke up, however, as I passed her to our pastor and she kept her eyes open as he scooped up water with a seashell and carefully poured it over her head three times. She just gazed at him and the congregation serenely and then went back to sleep as soon as she was returned to my arms. It was adorable. We have video, so I'll try to figure out how to upload that eventually. It was going to write something about why we had Evie baptized as an infant, but Payton was baptized on the same day and Diana put it so well that I'm just going to link to her and say: "Ditto."
After the service, we asked them to stick around for cupcakes and conversation. We enjoyed chatting, mostly about Evie of course, and sent G home with almost a dozen cupcakes. It was adorable to see R and G cuddling Evie and discussing how she has G's cheeks and R's nose and might have R's blue eyes. We also took some wonderful pictures of R and G with Evie and J and I and Evie with R and G, as well as the whole family, including adoptive and birth grandparents. I'm not comfortable sharing them online, but they will be treasures for Evie's scrapbooks. Here's a picture of us with Evie's grandparents. It is difficult to get them all together at once, so photos like this are going to be almost as rare as photos with R and G!
At various points during the morning, both G and R and G's mother teared up as they looked at Evie, held her and talked about her. They all expressed how wonderful it was to be there and thanked us for inviting them. I had first broached a general invite to G while we were still at the hospital on Evie's birth day, so I imagine this day was something they were looking forward to for weeks. It must have been difficult for them to leave the church that day, knowing that our next scheduled get-together isn't until summer, when our agency has an open adoption reunion BBQ. We're keeping them updated with photos, but of course it's nothing like holding her.
Hopefully I won't turn her into an adult that likes to sleep with the TV on all the time; J and I don't even have a TV in our bedroom. But she is still sleeping well at night with silence in her nursery, so I'm encouraged.
Random factoid #1: her acne is almost gone now.
Random factoid #2: I appear to have high frequency hearing loss? We have a thermometer and I've been taking Evie's temp under her arm a couple of times a day to make sure she hasn't developed a fever to go with her cough, sniffles and sneezes. Apparently the darn thing beeps when it's done reading her temp, and J can hear it, but I can't. I feel old, and I'm only 30! And J is the one who listens to his mp3 player while mowing the lawn (a big hearing loss no-no) whereas I rarely use headphones to listen to music, preferring speakers.